msmnimhe;;a drunkamd i just trirwed to send a message to philip. and i still have mnoather cui of rumm to go. shiiiiiit.

Agh. why the bloody hell did i agree to stay here and do a special task? The green screens will continue and everyone will probably get sent home/they will take volunteers around 9 or 9:30. That's exactly what i wished for inbetween reading The Tale of the Body Thief and doing the small bits of work that came before me in bursts. Daniel had to come up to me and ask if i wanted to do special task AGAIN. and i had to say yes without a moment's hesitation in which to think it over AGAIN. (Sigh) i suppose that wouldn't look so good if i were to back out now...i'd feel guilty anyways - that old, old guilt of mine that comes with being trusted to be responsible. Mayhap i will get lucky and it will be like last time. Mayhap i will still get to go home a bit early anyhow. i do so long for my swings. That felt so wonderful to be on the swings under a darkenening sky, especially when conversing with my Glove. A lovely time...i wonder if the "Glove" i wrote in the sand has been covered already? Most likely. Certainly children play at that park and in that sand circle everyday. And if not, some teenager probably impulsively decided to erase it. I must say, even without my headphones its been quite the nice night here at work. i felt like i was at the shop again, reading Ann Rice's work inbetween intermittent tasks. i actually felt rather at peace doing so. Ah how i had needed that feeling too. Something to make me feel good and calm the way talking to Joe used to make me feel.
However, since i am to stay here and work without the pauses to fill with The Tale of the Body Thief, now i will have to rummage through Rodney Roach and find my cd player and its accessories. i'm sure the rest of the night will go more slowly, "So as the night drags on..."

Silence teases
and increases
Full of secrets
and my aborted words
How to break it?
Just what caused it?
Silence is the worst
When a mystery

Oh how i loved
the connection
that seemed to be there
But somehow, i've found myself shut out
The last few words stripped bare

I have always
hated silence
For it breeds tension
and paranoid thoughts
It neither lies
nor tells the truth
And yet it always
Has something to hide

Oh how i loved
the connection
that seemed to be there
But somehow, i've found myself shut out
The last few notes stripped bare
repeat 2x)

Destroy this silence
(repeat 3x)

"Talking about the issues while accepting the temporary lack of resolution can be enough for now."

agh.

i feel so shitty. my nose is draining so badly and the back of my throat feels all funni. i'm in a hella shitty ass mood. i better not feel like this tomorrow night. i got a thrash show to ruin my neck at so i'll finally use that tiger balm i bought.